I am blessed to have been one of many that Patti considered a friend, but she will always be my BEST friend. The hardest part of being away from home this time is missing the last months of being there physically for my friend.
Fortunately, we were able to share our thoughts & love, remaining as closely connected as we could while saving our breath, through texting.
I'm so grateful to those who have been there to make the last year even just a little easier for Patti.
Her yard and gardens were her ongoing delight & anyone who was there to keep that part of her life beautiful, also helped maintain a big piece of normal for her.
When Patti found something she wanted to do, she pursued it with gusto & everyone near her benefited from that.
Just a few of these passions some might remember;
Back in the 70’s, her "Hope Chest" - when we were teens she began collecting housewares & decor in preparation for her happily-ever-after,
Her first car - who can forget how proud she was? Buying that little orange Chevette "Betsy",
Her careers, first at the Ministry of the Environment, then at the Lakehead Board of Education, ending with her long-awaited dream job, as secretary at Valley Central School, where she was hugely appreciated for her efficiency & conscientiousness, while so loved for her caring warmth,
Her ceramics in the 80's – yes, there are still a few Garfield cookie jars around,
Baseball - we played ladies lob-ball in our teens, then again later in our children's younger years mixed slo-pitch. We spent many summer evenings & weekends with our families revolved around the games & tournaments or camping with the baseball team,
Kids hockey - the classic hockey parents (the best kind)....Patti & Ray immersed themselves for years with games, practices, hockey fundraising, tournaments, travel to games & mostly the socializing with other parents.
Camping - Patti & Ray started off with a pup tent honeymoon & they worked their way through old campers to their brand new luxury trailer which was soon to be known as the "Hilton",
Quilting - though for years she described herself as the un-crafty one, she discovered her knack for quilting & was on a mission to make a quilt for every family member & a baby quilt for every baby that arrived since taking up the hobby,
Her backyard paradise - many years ago, a friend of Patti’s sketched a landscape plan for the lot on Gardener Rd. The Anderson land had formerly been a big growing garden which had pretty much become a dry hayfield.
Patti grasped the vision, then she & Ray took steps every year to bring that overwhelming plan to a beautiful fruition that rivals any garden we visited together on a number of garden tours.
Curling & the Hope Classic - started as a fun night out, Patti became a happy curler, enjoying ladies & mixed curling, always with her Chinese food & glass of wine waiting as part of the tradition of a night at the rink.
We entered our first Hope Classic for the fun, to enjoy working & partying with other women for a good female cause. Patti was an excellent fundraiser from the start, but once this cause became a reality in our lives, Patti pushed even harder & her friends & family were happy to help. She was easily one of the top ten fundraisers over the last several years.
Of course, I cannot go without mentioning the fundraiser Patti initiated for me. If anyone could rally people to get a job done right, it was Patti. She inspired our friends, family & co-workers with a benefit that raised enough money to pay my rent for a year in Toronto while I waited for a heart/lung transplant. It wasn’t just the money, but the hope, love & determination she gave me that inspired me to get home again.
The ultimate passion on which, I saw Patti set her mind & heart, was Ray. I was there for the “Sadie Hawkins” dance at the North Neebing Community Centre December 7 1974, where the girls ask the boys to be their date, & Patti asked Ray.
From that night, the love story began. The mission to build their family & home was under way. After just a few years of being a couple, a wedding date was set as a goal. Patti told me that June 28 was picked because it was halfway between their birthdays (January & November), it would be June 28, 1980. That seemed eons away to me at the time, but Patti had a vision that played out exactly as planned.
There are so many people who would not be connected in this world, had it not been for Patti & Ray. From every path they travelled, they have collected friendships & linked them together.
The day Patti passed, I spent thinking of all the people in her life. I found myself going over in my head how she met each one of her huge group. I have a memory like an elephant, so the details of the stories may be a little cloudy, but most I can put the pieces together with a little thought.
From anyone Patti grew up with, went to school with, worked with to hockey parents, fellow cancer patients, the extended families of her relatives to couples & families she met camping, she eventually included them in her very active social life.
If you had the good fortune of moving into Patti & Ray's neighbourhood you became friends for life, whether you moved away to the other end of the country, or just into the city.
The loyalty of Patti was fierce. Once she was your friend, she was in for the long haul. God help her family members if they brought home a new girlfriend or boyfriend, because that new person was immediately included in Patti & Ray's friendship circle....along with their parents & extended family!
This year marks 40 years of my personal friendship with Patti. We shared many things over those years. I cannot think of a time when we had a disagreement, other than who should win The Voice, maybe. A few weeks ago, we still bantered back & forth about Fantasia from American Idol, Season 3.
You see, Patti & I were as different as we were alike. She was a little bit country & I was a little bit rock & roll. She was a romantic & I was a stiff upper lip skeptic who sometimes scoffed at her soft heart. But she'd persist & say, "Oh Carla, I know you love the chick flicks, too".
Patti accepted me with all my good & bad stuff, just like she did with everyone. She passed no judgement, but was there always, no matter what. Patti had no qualms telling me what I needed to hear though, but only if she thought I would benefit from hearing it. I can only aspire to be more like her. Many times in my life I have thought, what would Patti do? & tried to follow her lead.
The greatest gift Patti & Ray entrusted to me was to share their precious daughter. For any of you who may somehow have not heard it proudly announced by Care, Patti or me, I am Carolyn's Godmum.
Carolyn, knows that I will be here for her in any way possible, but Barry & Steve are every bit as important to me. I will be one of many “moms” watching over you.
I don't mourn for Patti today, because I know where she is, she has already rounded up her old friends, family & acquaintances & is planning a big get-together.
I also feel no fear of leaving this life, because I know for me & each one of her friends or family, she will be waiting with open arms to plan one rocker party when I get there. I'm hoping there might be a turkey dinner, or maybe little party sandwiches, the Clik with relish kind that she loves.
